Marriage Counseling in Orlando: What to Expect When You Begin
““We probably should have done this a long time ago.””
I hear some version of that sentence from many of the couples who come into my office.
Most couples do not begin marriage counseling because everything suddenly fell apart overnight. More often, they have been living with the same conflict, distance, disappointment, or uncertainty for months—or sometimes years.
They may still love each other. They may still function well in other areas of their lives. But something between them no longer feels right, and the things they have tried on their own have not created lasting change.
Reaching out for marriage counseling can feel like a significant step. It can also bring up understandable questions:
What will happen when we get there?Will the therapist take sides?Will we have to explain everything immediately?What if one of us is more ready than the other?What if our problems are too far gone?
Knowing what to expect can make beginning couples therapy feel much more manageable.
In my practice, the process begins with an extended 100-minute session with both partners. That meeting is followed by one 50-minute, individual therapy session with each person. Together, these meetings form what I call the getting-a-lay-of-the-landscape assessment process.
The goal is not to rush into solutions. It is to understand where you have been individually and collectively, what is happening between you now, and what will help us move forward with greater clarity and purpose.
Before Your First Couples Therapy Session
When you contact me through my website contact page, I make every effort to respond within 24 business hours.
Many couples are able to take care of the entire scheduling process through email or text. I can answer initial questions, explain how I structure the first few appointments, schedule your first session, and send you the information you will need as new clients.
You do not have to schedule a consultation call before making an appointment.
Some people, however, prefer to speak with me before deciding whether to begin. When that would be helpful, we can arrange a brief 15-minute consultation call so you can ask questions and get a better sense of how I work.
Once your first appointment is scheduled, you will receive new-client paperwork to complete before we meet. Completing it ahead of time allows us to use our time together for a thoughtful conversation about you and your relationship.
My office is located at 629 Maitland Avenue in Altamonte Springs and is convenient to Orlando, Maitland, Winter Park, Longwood, Lake Mary, and the surrounding Central Florida area.
You may also meet Ginny, my very small toy poodle and our Chief Greeting and Security Officer. She takes both parts of her job seriously.
Your First Marriage Counseling Session Is 100 Minutes
A standard therapy session is 50 minutes. Because there are two people, two histories, and an important relationship in the room, I begin couples counseling with an extended 100-minute appointment.
This gives us enough time to slow the process down and begin understanding what has brought you to counseling without either person feeling rushed.
We will talk about what is happening in your relationship now and why you have decided to reach out at this particular point.
You will each have an opportunity to describe your experience of the relationship. My role is to listen carefully to both of you while also beginning to notice the patterns that may be keeping you stuck.
We may explore questions such as:
What has changed between you?
Where do conversations tend to break down?
What happens when one person reaches for connection and the other pulls away?
What conflicts keep repeating without resolution?
What still feels strong or worth protecting?
What does each of you hope could become different?
I am listening not only for the subjects you disagree about, but also for what happens between you when those disagreements arise.
The visible conflict may involve parenting, intimacy, money, extended family, household responsibilities, trust, or time together. Underneath that conflict, there are often deeper experiences of feeling unimportant, criticized, alone, controlled, dismissed, overwhelmed, or unable to get things right.
Understanding that underlying pattern helps us move beyond repeatedly arguing about the latest incident.
We Will Look at More Than What Is Going Wrong
Couples often arrive very aware of their problems and much less connected to the strengths that helped build their relationship.
During our first meeting, I also want to understand your larger story.
How did you meet?What initially drew you together?When has your relationship worked well?What have you already survived or built together?What qualities do you still value in one another?
This is not about minimizing the difficulties that brought you into counseling. It gives me a fuller and more accurate picture of your relationship.
Even distressed couples often have meaningful strengths, important history, and moments of connection that have become harder to access. Those strengths can become part of the work ahead.
Each Partner Then Meets With Me Individually
After the first 100-minute couples session, I schedule one 50-minute individual appointment with each partner.
These individual meetings are part of the couples-assessment process. They are not a shift into separate individual therapy.
The individual sessions allow me to understand more about each person’s history, experiences, concerns, strengths, and hopes for the relationship. They also give each partner room to speak without having to monitor or manage the other person’s reactions.
By the end of the joint and individual meetings, I have a much more complete lay of the landscape:
Where each of you has been individually
What you have experienced together
What is happening in the relationship today
The patterns that may be keeping you stuck
The strengths available to support change
What each person hopes counseling can accomplish
After those initial meetings, our sessions are held together as a couple and are generally 50 minutes long.
My Approach to Marriage Counseling
No two couples arrive with exactly the same history, concerns, or goals. I do not use a single formula or apply the same intervention to every relationship.
My work draws from several well-established approaches to couples and relationship therapy, including Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy, the Gottman Method, Internal Family Systems, trauma-informed treatment, and EMDR when clinically appropriate.
I also draw from the work of leading clinicians in the betrayal-trauma and relationship-repair fields, including Stefanie Carnes, when trust has been significantly damaged.
For couples who are not dealing with betrayal, the same careful assessment remains important. A relationship may be struggling because of repeated conflict, emotional disconnection, life transitions, differences in communication, intimacy concerns, resentment, parenting stress, or uncertainty about the future.
The methods I use are guided by what is actually happening in your relationship—not simply by a diagnosis or a standard worksheet.
You can learn more about my approach to marriage counseling and the couples I work with on my website.
What You Can Expect From the Process
Couples therapy should provide a space where both people can speak honestly and where the relationship itself remains at the center of the work.
You can expect me to work toward understanding both partners rather than reducing the relationship to one person being right and the other being wrong.
You can also expect us to:
Slow down conversations that become reactive or overwhelming
Identify the pattern that repeatedly takes over between you
Clarify what each person is feeling, needing, and trying to communicate
Recognize the strengths that are still present
Create a more constructive way to address difficult subjects
Develop goals that reflect what both of you want from the work
Talk honestly about what change will require
When couples are caught in a painful pattern, each person’s attempt to protect themselves can unintentionally trigger the other.
One partner may pursue, question, criticize, or push for an immediate resolution. The other may withdraw, become defensive, shut down, or try to end the conversation. The more each person protects themselves, the more threatened or alone the other may feel.
Naming that pattern does not remove personal responsibility. It gives us something specific and workable to address.
When One Partner Is More Reluctant
It is common for one person to be more ready for marriage counseling than the other.
Reluctance does not necessarily mean that a partner does not care about the relationship. They may be worried about being blamed, misunderstood, pressured to make a decision, or expected to discuss private subjects before they feel ready.
It can help to frame counseling as an opportunity to understand what is happening between you rather than as a place where one person will be identified as the problem.
You might say:
“I don’t want us to keep having the same painful conversations without getting anywhere. I would like us to meet with someone who can help us understand what keeps happening between us. I’m not asking you to take the blame or make a permanent commitment to therapy. I’m asking you to begin the process with me.”
Beginning marriage counseling does not require either person to know exactly what they want the final outcome to be.
Some couples come in committed to repairing their relationship. Others feel uncertain. Some are trying to determine whether meaningful repair is possible.
The first task is to understand the relationship clearly enough to make thoughtful decisions rather than reacting only from anger, fear, exhaustion, or urgency.
Frequently Asked Questions About Marriage Counseling in Orlando
How long is the first couples therapy session?
The first couples session in my practice is 100 minutes. This is an extended two-session block that allows both partners time to speak and gives us room to begin understanding the relationship without rushing.
Do both partners attend the first session?
Yes. Both partners attend the first 100-minute session. I then meet individually with each person for one 50-minute appointment before we return to regular joint couples sessions.
Why do you meet with each partner individually?
The individual meetings help me understand each person’s history, perspective, concerns, strengths, and goals. Together with the initial couples session, they create a more complete assessment of the relationship.
What happens after the individual appointments?
After the initial 100-minute joint session and the two individual sessions, we meet together for 50-minute couples sessions. We will discuss what I am seeing, identify the patterns we need to address, clarify goals, and begin the ongoing work.
How many marriage counseling sessions will we need?
The length of couples therapy depends on what has brought you in, how long the pattern has been present, the level of distress, and what both partners hope to accomplish.
I do not want to offer a generic timeline before I understand your relationship. The initial assessment meetings allow me to give you a more thoughtful and honest sense of the work ahead.
Will we have to revisit every past argument?
We will talk about important experiences from your relationship, but the goal is not to relitigate every disagreement.
Specific conflicts can help us understand the larger pattern that takes over between you. Once we understand that pattern, we can work on changing what happens during future conversations.
What if we have tried couples counseling before?
A previous experience with therapy—helpful or unhelpful—is important information.
We can talk about what worked, what did not work, what felt missing, and what you would like to be different this time. A previous counseling experience does not determine what is possible now.
Is couples counseling confidential?
Couples counseling is confidential within the limits of Florida law and the professional standards governing my license.
Because individual meetings are part of the couples-assessment process, I will also explain how information shared during those appointments is handled. It is important that the expectations and boundaries surrounding confidentiality are clear from the beginning.
Do I have to call before scheduling?
No. Most of the initial process can be handled through email or text after you reach out through my website.
A 15-minute consultation call is available when you would like an opportunity to speak with me before scheduling.
You Do Not Have to Wait Until the Relationship Is in Crisis
Couples sometimes believe they need a dramatic reason to begin counseling, but they do not.
“We keep having the same argument.”
“We feel more like roommates.”
“We have stopped talking about anything important.”
“We are struggling with a major transition.”
“We love each other, but we do not know how to get back to one another.”
“We need help deciding what comes next.”
Any of these can be a legitimate reason to reach out.
Waiting often allows painful patterns to become more established. Beginning earlier does not mean your relationship is failing. It means you are willing to look carefully at what is happening before more distance or resentment builds.
The first few meetings are not about forcing quick answers. They are about slowing down, listening to both people, and developing a clear understanding of the relationship you have today.
From there, we can begin determining what your relationship needs next.
To ask a question or begin scheduling an appointment for marriage counseling in Orlando, Altamonte Springs, or the surrounding Central Florida area, you can contact me here.
You can also learn more about my experience and approach on my about page.