For a lot of couples, the first marriage counselor they see is whoever had an opening on Tuesday.
I get it. Once you’ve both finally agreed to go, you grab the first appointment before anybody changes their mind. But Dr. John Gottman’s research suggests couples wait an average of six years after problems start before they get help. Six years of the same argument and a growing list of topics you both tiptoe around. After waiting that long, you deserve to choose your marriage counselor in Orlando on purpose instead of settling for whoever answered the phone first.
I’ve been a marriage and family therapist here for more than thirty years, and some of the couples who find me have already tried therapy somewhere else. Usually it wasn’t that therapy couldn’t help them. It was the fit. So here’s what I’d tell a friend who asked me how to choose, whether or not that friend ever ends up on my couch.
The short answer: When you’re choosing a marriage counselor in Orlando, look for a licensed marriage and family therapist (LMFT), or another licensed clinician, with specific training and real, ongoing experience in couples work, ideally with what you’re facing, whether that’s affair recovery, constant conflict, or emotional distance. Ask how they run sessions and handle private information, and pay attention to how that first conversation feels. You should both walk out feeling understood, not judged, and confident the therapist is on the side of your relationship rather than either one of you.
Start With the License, Then Look Closer
In Florida, several kinds of professionals can legally see couples: licensed mental health counselors (LMHCs), licensed clinical social workers (LCSWs), psychologists, and licensed marriage and family therapists (LMFTs). There are wonderful therapists under every one of those licenses. They just weren’t trained the same way.
Marriage and family therapy is the only one of these professions built around relationships from day one. LMFT training teaches us to see a couple as a system, so the "client" isn’t just you or just your spouse. It’s the pattern that lives between you. Couples therapy researcher Dr. William Doherty has pointed out that most therapists in private practice see couples, yet marriage and family therapy is the only specialty that requires coursework in couples therapy.
That doesn’t mean every LMFT is your person, or that a counselor with a different license can’t be great with couples. It means the license is your first question, not your only one. You can check any Florida license in about two minutes on the Florida Department of Health’s license lookup.
Ask How Much of Their Week Is Couples Work
A therapist who sees one couple a month will feel very different in the room from one who sees couples every day. Couples sessions move fast. Two people, two histories, and a lot of feelings, all at once. An experienced couples therapist knows how to keep a session from becoming an instant replay of last night’s fight, which is one of the biggest complaints I hear from couples whose last round of therapy didn’t work.
So ask: How much of your practice is couples therapy? A good therapist won’t be the least bit offended. For me, it’s most of what I do, and I’m always happy to say so.
Match Their Specialty to What You’re Actually Facing
"Marriage counseling" is a big umbrella. A couple recovering from an affair needs something different from a couple who can’t stop fighting about money or the in-laws, and both need something different from two people who love each other but have quietly turned into roommates.
If infidelity is part of your story, look for a therapist who treats affair recovery as a core focus, not one line on a long list. Ask how they work with both the hurt partner and the partner who had the affair, and how they pace the hardest conversations.
If old wounds keep sneaking into your arguments, ask whether the therapist is trauma-informed. I’ve written about how unresolved trauma shows up in your marriage, and it’s one of the most overlooked reasons couples get stuck.
And if you’ve been reading up on specific approaches, ask which methods they use and why. I break down the two I lean on most in EFT vs. the Gottman Method: Which Is Right for Your Marriage?
Questions to Ask Before You Book
Most therapists are happy to answer a few questions by phone, text, or email before you book. You don’t need a script, but these will tell you a lot, fast:
How much of your practice is couples therapy?
What training do you have in couples work specifically?
Have you worked with couples dealing with what we’re facing?
What does a first session with you look like?
If one of us tells you something privately, what do you do with it?
Do you offer in-person sessions, online sessions, or both?
How will we know if it’s working?
How I’d Answer These Questions
Fair is fair. If you asked me, here’s what you’d hear:
How much of your practice is couples therapy? Most of it. Couples work, and affair recovery in particular, is the heart of what I do.
What training do you have in couples work? I’m a licensed marriage and family therapist with more than thirty years in practice. I’m trained in Emotionally Focused Therapy and the Gottman Method, plus EMDR and Internal Family Systems for the individual wounds that tend to show up in couples work.
Have you worked with couples dealing with what we’re facing? Very likely. Affairs, betrayal, the same fight on repeat, and the slow drift into roommate mode are what I see most.
What does a first session look like? We talk about what brought you in, how your relationship got here, and what you each want to be different. Most couples leave with a clearer picture of the pattern they’re caught in.
What happens if one of us tells you something privately? I walk you through my policy on private information before we begin, so neither of you is ever caught off guard.
In person or online? Both. My office is in Altamonte Springs, and I see couples online anywhere in Florida.
How will we know it’s working? Usually the fights get shorter, the repairs come faster, and home starts to feel a little lighter. We’ll check in on that together along the way.
Pay Attention to How the First Session Feels
Credentials get a therapist in the door. Fit is what keeps you coming back. On the drive home after your first session, check in with each other. Did we both get to talk? Did the therapist seem to get each of us, not just whoever talked more? Did either of us feel ganged up on?
A good marriage counselor doesn’t take sides. That’s not the same as never saying anything hard. A skilled therapist will gently name a pattern that’s hurting you both, even when it stings a little. But you should leave feeling like they’re rooting for the two of you. If you’re curious what else therapists wish couples knew going in, my post on little-known facts about marriage therapists is an honest and fun read. And if you want to know what the first few sessions with me actually look like, read Marriage Counseling in Orlando: What to Expect When You Begin.
The right therapist won’t make the work easy. They’ll make it feel possible.
A Few Red Flags Worth Noticing
Sessions feel like your fights at home, just with an audience.
The therapist keeps seeming to side with one of you.
You feel nudged toward divorce, or toward staying together, before they really know you.
Several sessions in, you still can’t say what you’re working toward.
Nobody has explained what happens with secrets or private conversations.
One bad fit doesn’t mean therapy can’t help you. It means you deserve a better match.
The Practical Side: Location, Online Sessions, and Private Pay
Convenience matters more than people like to admit. If getting to your session means crawling along I-4 at 5:30 on a Thursday, you’ll walk in frazzled and leave wiped out. My office is at 629 Maitland Avenue in Altamonte Springs, an easy drive from Winter Park, Maitland, Lake Mary, and Longwood. I also see couples online anywhere in Florida, which works beautifully for packed schedules and for couples who open up more easily from their own living room.
You may also notice that some couples therapists, including me, don’t work with insurance. For a lot of couples, that’s about fit. Insurance usually requires a mental health diagnosis for one partner, and relationship struggles on their own often don’t qualify. Private-pay therapy means your sessions are shaped around what your relationship needs, with no diagnosis on anyone’s record and no outside company deciding how many sessions you get. My practice questions page covers scheduling and the rest of the details.
Why Couples Choose Me as Their Marriage Counselor in Orlando
I’m Jennifer Sigman, LMFT. For more than thirty years, I’ve helped couples rebuild after affairs, find their way back from distance, and finally stop having the same fight. I’m trained in Emotionally Focused Therapy, the Gottman Method, EMDR, and Internal Family Systems, so I can meet you where you are instead of squeezing you into one model. You can read more about me and my background here.
And if you come to the office, you may meet Ginny, our office dog, who has firm opinions about who gets the first head scratch.
Frequently Asked Questions About Choosing a Marriage Counselor
What’s the difference between a marriage counselor and a couples therapist?
In everyday use, they mean the same thing. What matters more is the license behind the title and how much real training and experience the person has with couples.
How do I find a good marriage counselor near me?
Start with licensed couples therapists in your area, then narrow it down by specialty and experience. Read their websites and notice whether they describe your situation in a way that feels familiar. Verify the license, then reach out and ask the questions above.
Should we see a therapist together or separately?
For relationship concerns, most of the work happens together, because the pattern lives between you. Some couples benefit from an occasional individual session, especially when one partner’s history is fueling the conflict. A good therapist will explain how that one-on-one time connects to what you’re working on together.
What if my spouse won’t go to marriage counseling?
You can still start. When one partner changes, the whole relationship often shifts with them. My article on whether you can save a marriage when only one partner wants to walks through what that can look like.
How many sessions of marriage counseling will we need?
It depends on what you’re working through. Many couples notice their conversations feel different within the first several sessions, while deeper work, like recovering from an affair, takes longer. If that’s where you are, How Long Does It Take to Recover From an Affair? gives you an honest picture of the timeline.
You Don’t Need the Perfect Words to Reach Out
If you’re ready, "We need help" is plenty. You can learn more about marriage counseling in Orlando first, or just send me a text. I’ll take it from there.
You Don’t Need the
Perfect Words to Reach Out
If you’re ready, "We need help" is plenty. You can learn more about marriage counseling in Orlando first, or just send me a text. I’ll take it from there.
About the author: Jennifer Sigman, MS, LMFT, is a licensed marriage and family therapist (Florida License MT1995) with more than thirty years of experience helping couples through affair recovery, betrayal trauma, and disconnection. She sees couples in her Altamonte Springs office and online throughout Florida.