Not Feeling the Love? How to Navigate Valentine’s Day When It Feels Hard

Valentine’s Day can be a tough one. While the world seems to be covered in roses and heart-shaped everything, you might be feeling something completely different—grief from a past loss, loneliness in the absence of a romantic relationship, or sadness over a love that didn’t last. If this holiday makes you want to crawl under a blanket until February 15th, you’re not alone. Instead of forcing yourself to “just get through it,” what if you approached Valentine’s Day in a way that actually nourishes you?

8 Self-Care Strategies for a Tough Valentine’s Day

If this holiday stirs up sadness, anger, frustration, or longing, here are a few ways to care for yourself:

1. Give Yourself Permission to Feel

Ignoring your emotions only makes them louder. Instead, acknowledge what’s coming up for you. Maybe it’s grief, irritability, or disappointment. Maybe you’re getting a headache or feel anxious—whatever it is, it’s valid. Writing, talking with a trusted friend, or even journaling a letter (that you never send) can help process emotions instead of letting them fester.

2. Plan a Feel-Good Escape

Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be about romance—it can be about whatever you need. Book a selfcare day. Schedule a foot massage, take a nature walk, or get lost in a new book. Plan ahead so the day feels intentional rather than something you’re trying to survive.

3. Avoid the Social Media Trap

It’s easy to feel like everyone else has the perfect relationship when your feed is full of curated candlelit dinners and grand gestures. Remember, social media is a highlight reel, not real life. If scrolling leaves you feeling worse, take a break from it for the day.

4. Shower Yourself with Kindness

Who says you can’t? If you’d buy a gift for a partner, why not do the same for yourself? Treat yourself to something small but meaningful—your favorite coffee or flowers, or a cozy new blanket or that golf club you’ve been eyeing. It’s a way of reinforcing that you are worthy of love, no matter your relationship status.

5. Connect with People Who Get It

Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be spent alone if you’re open to it. Plan a friend’s night, attend an event, or even go to a yoga class. Anywhere that brings connection. Sometimes, shifting focus away from what we’re missing can create moments of unexpected joy. Opening Your Heart to a Different Kind of Celebration Even if Valentine’s Day isn’t your favorite, it doesn’t have to be a day of dread. Here are some alternative ways to celebrate love—without the pressure of romance:

6. Make It About Self-Love

Reframe it as a day for self-appreciation. Write yourself a letter of appreciation, list things you’re proud of, or start a new self-care ritual that makes you feel good in your own skin.

7. Celebrate Friendship & Connection

Love isn’t just romantic—it’s found in friendships, family, and community. Send a thoughtful message to a friend, grab dinner with someone who also dreads the holiday, or write a gratitude list of the people who have made a difference in your life.

8. Give Love to Someone Who Needs It

One of the most powerful ways to shift our emotions is to give. Buy a coffee for the person behind you in the coffee line, send a kind note to someone going through a hard time, or make a small donation to a cause you care about. Anonymous love is expansive and opening your heart to others can make the day feel meaningful in a different way.

Final Thoughts:

You’re Not Alone in This If Valentine’s Day is hard for you, you don’t have to pretend otherwise. Whether you choose to care for yourself quietly or celebrate love in an unconventional way, know this: You are worthy of love, exactly as you are.

Remember, you're really not alone so let’s support each other. 💛

Journaling 101. How to Write that Crap Down.

If you’re interested in journaling but don't, but know where to start, you've come to the right place. There are different types of journaling + it’s something that I recommend you do every day or at least on a consistent basis. I found that there are three types of journaling. Data dump journaling, gratitude journaling, and connection journaling.

Data dump journaling is exactly what it sounds like. Dump that data! It's great for getting out those spinning thoughts. It’s not intended to re-read or revisit. It’s only intended to clear space for new information. No formality. You can do it with pen + paper, on your phone (Day One is a good Journaling App) or on your computer. Whatever you prefer. I often hear from clients that they get immediate relief from data dump journaling.

Gratitude journaling is the best! It refocuses your emotional compass towards holding positive energy for things that are really important in your life. The things you cherish. I found in my practice that when clients regularly practice gratitude journaling, they report their energy + outlook shifts in a positive way. They report that it impacts their relationships positively + their overall feeling of well-being improves. This type of journaling is as easy as writing down 3-5 things you have gratitude for, every day. It doesn’t matter if you do this in the evening, then it sets you up for an emotionally positive sleep. Or if you do this in the morning, then you set your compass in the right direction for an emotionally positive day. What matters is that you do it consistently. It also doesn’t matter if you repeat the same things again and again – although I would suggest that you look for different things on a daily basis. The big things you hold Gratitude for are always easy to identify. Look for the medium and small things. If you can put down a few reasons why they're important to you, that’s a bonus.

Connection journaling is a journaling meditation practice. It’s about connecting to positive energy, a higher vibration. As you journal, this often starts with a few benign sentences about the moment or the day or how you feel - you’ll start getting into "flow". Once you’re in flow, no judgment, just information coming out of you. You’ll connect to a higher version of yourself. Maybe your intuitive self. It allows for insights to flow + "Ah-Ha's" to come regularly.

For me, connection journaling has created the most profound shifts + greatest insights. It's been life and relationship changing.

Don’t think you have time for journaling? Recently I discovered the Five Minute Journal. It gives you five short prompts daily. It’s fast. I have clients that use it with their spouses and have purchased them for their teens. You can find the 5 Minute Journal at www.journalhabit.com. Look in the Shop.

Happy journaling.