There was no affair. There's no screaming. From the outside, your marriage looks fine, you split the bills, manage the kids, show up to the dinners. But somewhere along the way, the two of you stopped really reaching each other. Conversations turned into logistics. Affection turned into habit. And lately you've caught yourself wondering whether this quiet, polite distance is just what marriage becomes.

Early in a relationship/marriage we listen with an intention to hear. We hang on every word and breath. We ask gentle questions that are meant to improve connection. If the relationship continues, we feel accepted. Eventually though, we stop hearing and revert to listening.

Surviving an Affair. This is not for the faint of spirit. With the right attitude repair work can begin immediately to save a marriage. The wounding marriage party must put their feelings aside and focus only on the feeling of their wounded spouse. Don't blame or bob and weave. Start the marriage repair right away with coming clean. 

What if we have it all wrong; setting our goals early in the hopes that when we accomplish these things, we’ll feel a particular way. Instead, what if we sat down and really thought about how we truly, deeply want to feel in the different areas of our life. 

When a topic is tough or times are hard, you may find yourself avoiding significant conversations in your marriage. You find yourself “leaning out”. You can’t bear the discomfort, the sadness or maybe the anger.