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Title: 15 Little-Known Facts About Your Therapist That Will Change the Way You Approach Marriage Therapy

When starting marriage therapy, it’s essential to understand not only the process but also the dedication and effort your therapist invests in each session. Marriage therapists are highly trained professionals who continually educate themselves to provide the most effective care. From managing high caseloads to processing the complexities of your relationship dynamics, they work tirelessly to guide you toward healing. By knowing what goes on behind the scenes, you’ll feel more confident and prepared to make the most of your therapy sessions. Whether you’re struggling with communication, trust, or emotional connection, your therapist is there to listen, help you navigate these challenges, and support you in building a stronger, healthier marriage.

Are you gearing up to meet with a marriage therapist for the first time? While it might feel a bit daunting, understanding a few key facts about your therapist could totally change the way you approach therapy—and the experience itself. Here are 10 little-known truths about marriage therapists that every couple should know before diving into therapy.

1. They’re Not Just Listening, They’re Strategizing

Your therapist is more than just a sounding board. They’re actively listening and formulating strategies to help you reconnect, rebuild trust, and work through challenges. They aren’t passive; they’re your guide to a healthier marriage.

2. They’ve Heard it All

Feel embarrassed about bringing up your most sensitive issues? Don’t! Therapists have heard it all, from everyday squabbles to major trust breaches. There’s nothing too embarrassing to talk about in therapy. They’ve seen it and worked through it all before.

3. They’re Not Your Referee (But we think it's funny that you think so)

It might seem like a therapist should step in when things get heated, but marriage therapy isn’t about taking sides. Therapists are there to guide the conversation, help you understand each other, and work toward solutions—not to pick winners and losers.

4. They Don’t Judge You (Really!)

One of the most common fears people have when starting therapy is that their therapist will judge them for their actions, emotions, or relationship history. The truth? Therapists don’t judge; they’re trained to be impartial and empathetic so they can help you improve, not criticize you.

5. They Believe in the Power of Small Changes

Therapists often emphasize that little changes can lead to big results. You don’t have to reinvent your relationship overnight. Baby steps toward healthier communication, trust, and intimacy can work wonders.

6. They Want You to Succeed (They really do!)

It’s in their best interest for you to succeed. Marriage therapists are passionate about helping couples overcome their struggles and build lasting, fulfilling relationships. Your success means they’ve done their job well.

7. They Don’t Have All the Answers (And That’s Okay)

Therapists aren’t mind readers or miracle workers. They’re there to guide the process, but they won’t always have every answer immediately. Marriage therapy is a journey, and your therapist is there to help you discover what works for you and your partner.

8. They Work With Both Partners (Not Just One)

One of the biggest misconceptions is that only one partner needs therapy. While individual therapy is valuable, marriage therapists specialize in working with both partners simultaneously to facilitate communication, collaboration, and mutual growth.

9. They’re Not Just There for Big Issues

Yes, therapists are great for working through major life events like infidelity or parenting struggles. But they can also be super helpful when you’re facing smaller, everyday relationship challenges. Regular therapy check-ins can keep your marriage strong before things escalate.

10. They Never Stop Learning (That's why you're paying the big bucks)

Marriage therapists are committed to continuous education, regularly attending workshops and seminars to stay updated on the latest therapeutic techniques and research. This dedication ensures they provide the most effective strategies for your relationship.

11. Their Job Is Incredibly Stressful (dare ya to try it for a day and not be wiped out)

Managing multiple clients daily, often dealing with complex and emotionally charged issues, can be mentally and emotionally taxing. Despite this, they remain dedicated to supporting you through your challenges.

12. While You Speak, They’re Solving a Mental Puzzle (and managing their own emotions)

As you share your experiences, therapists are actively processing information, identifying patterns, and formulating strategies to help you navigate your relationship challenges.

13. They’re Trained to Listen Intently (Listen, look, feel your energy. It's a lot to sort out!)

Active listening is a cornerstone of therapy. Therapists are trained to pick up on subtle cues, underlying emotions, and unspoken concerns to fully understand your perspective.

14. They Remember All the Dynamics at Play. (They may not remeber a name but they'll remember all the details of your story!)

Therapists juggle numerous details about each client’s life, including family dynamics, personal histories, and individual personalities, all while maintaining a calm and composed demeanor.

15. They Maintain Strict Confidentiality (That's why they ignore you at the grocery store)

Your privacy is paramount. Therapists adhere to strict ethical guidelines, ensuring that everything discussed in therapy remains confidential, fostering a safe space for open communication.

To sum up:

Your therapist is human too. Working hard to understand you and help guild you towards a better, happier and healthier life and relationship. Their greatest success is when you leave their office and recommend them to a friend or loved one.

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Why People Really Go to Therapy: 10 Reasons You Didn’t See Coming (and 10 You Totally Did)

Therapy That Meets You Where You Are—Not Just When Life Falls Apart

Therapy isn’t just for rock-bottom moments. It’s for the quiet struggles, the relationship ruts, and the patterns you can’t quite break. Whether you’re navigating a rough patch in your marriage, feeling disconnected from yourself, or just wondering, “Why does this keep happening?”—I’m here to help.

Let’s turn insight into action and clarity into change.

Schedule your first session today and discover how therapy can support you—no crisis required.

When most people think about why someone goes to therapy, the usual suspects come to mind: anxiety, depression, grief. And sure, those are common reasons, but they’re far from the whole story. Therapy isn’t just for life’s “rock bottom” moments—it’s also for the quiet struggles, the weird patterns, and the “Why does this keep happening?” moments. Let’s break it down.

The 10 Obvious Reasons People Go to Therapy:

  1. Anxiety or stress
  2. Depression or low mood
  3. Grief and loss
  4. Trauma and PTSD
  5. Major life transitions (like divorce, job loss, or moving)
  6. Relationship issues (Pre-Marital, Affair Repair, Divorce couseling)
  7. Low self-esteem or confidence
  8. Addiction or unhealthy coping habits
  9. Parenting challenges
  10. Mental health diagnoses (like OCD, bipolar disorder, etc.)

The 10 Not-So-Obvious Reasons People Go to Therapy (That Totally Make Sense):

For Couples:

  1. The “Who Loads the Dishwasher Right?” Fight: It’s never just about the dishwasher. Therapy helps couples stop arguing about the small stuff and start hearing each other’s deeper needs.
  2. Because the Kids Left, and Now It’s… Quiet. The empty nest can feel less like freedom and more like, Do we even like each other anymore? Therapy helps couples reconnect after the parenting chapter closes.
  3. To Stop Feeling Like Roommates with Joint Custody of the Couch: When life gets busy, romance can flatline. Therapy helps couples move from “co-managers of chaos” back to “partners in love.”
  4. To Argue Like Adults (Not Exhausted Teenagers): Conflict is normal—therapy teaches couples how to fight fair, without turning it into a full-blown Cold War.
  5. Because One of You Talks Too Much, and the Other Shuts Down: Therapy helps bridge the gap between “Can we please talk about it?” and “Do we have to?”

For Individuals:

  1. To Stop Saying “Yes” When You Mean “I’d Rather Swallow a Cactus”: People-pleasing is exhausting. Therapy helps you find your boundaries—and stick to them.
  2. Because You’re Crying at Dog Food Commercials (and You Don’t Even Have a Dog): Random emotions are usually about more than just a sad soundtrack. Therapy helps you figure out what’s really going on.
  3. To Break the Cycle of “Why Do I Keep Doing This?!” Whether it’s dating the same type of person or procrastinating again, therapy helps you break old patterns.
  4. Because “Work-Life Balance” Feels Like a Joke: Therapy helps you stop feeling like you’re failing at everything and start finding peace in the chaos.
  5. To Have One Space That’s Just Yours: No advice, no judgment—just someone listening while you untangle the mental spaghetti. The Bottom Line: Therapy isn’t just for crisis mode. It’s for the moments when life feels off, when patterns don’t make sense, and when you’re tired of pretending everything’s fine.

Wondering if therapy might help you - Let’s talk. Schedule your first session today and see how clarity can change everything.

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10 Little-Known Facts About Marriage Therapy That Can Help You Feel More Prepared

Thinking about starting marriage therapy but not sure what to expect?

Many couples enter couples counseling with misconceptions about how it works. Before your first session, it’s important to understand what marriage therapy can (and can’t) do for your relationship. In this guide, we’ll explore 10 little-known facts about marriage therapy that can help you feel more prepared, set realistic expectations, and make the most of your sessions. Whether you’re struggling with communication, trust, or simply want to strengthen your bond, these insights will help you navigate the process with confidence. If you’re looking for expert relationship counseling in Orlando, read on to discover what you need to know before marriage therapy—and how to take the first step toward a stronger, healthier relationship.

If you and your partner are considering marriage therapy or couples counseling, you might have questions about what to expect. Many couples enter therapy with a mix of hope, skepticism, and curiosity. The good news? Marriage counseling can be a powerful tool for rebuilding trust, improving communication, and strengthening your relationship.

To help you feel more prepared, I'm sharing 10 little-known facts about marriage therapy that can set realistic expectations and help you make the most of your sessions.

1. Marriage Therapy Isn’t Just for Couples in Crisis A common misconception is that couples counseling is only for relationships on the brink of divorce. In reality, many couples seek therapy to strengthen their bond, improve poor communication patterns, or navigate life transitions—like becoming parents or moving to a new city. Seeking therapy early can prevent small issues from turning into bigger problems.

2. A Marriage Therapist Doesn’t Take Sides

It’s natural to wonder if a therapist will “pick a side” in conflicts. However, a professional relationship counselor remains neutral. Their job is to understand both perspectives and help you work together toward a solution. Therapy is about teamwork, not assigning blame.

3. You’ll Work on Changing Patterns, Not Just Fixing Problems

Many couples expect therapy to be about solving a single issue—like constant arguments or trust issues. But therapy dives deeper, identifying relationship patterns that contribute to recurring problems. I often tell couples, "the problem is not what you think it's about, the problem is the pattern." By recognizing these patterns, couples can make lasting changes rather than just putting a Band-Aid on the issue.

4. Confidentiality Creates a Safe Space for Growth

Everything you share in marriage counseling is confidential, creating a safe environment where both partners can be open and honest. I'm often ignoring clients that I see in public for this reason. Therapists are legally and ethically bound to protect your privacy, except in rare cases where safety is at risk. Knowing that your conversations stay within the therapy room helps build trust and encourages deeper discussions.

5. You Might Feel Uncomfortable at First—And That’s Normal

Opening up about personal struggles in front of a therapist can feel awkward in the beginning. But a willingness to be uncomfortable often signals growth and a true opportunity for repair. As you become more familiar with your therapist, sessions will feel like a safe space where you and your partner can work through tough conversations with support and guidance.

6. Therapy Works Best When You Practice Outside of Sessions

The real transformation happens between sessions. Your therapist will provide exercises, communication techniques, or even “homework” to help you apply what you’ve learned in real-life situations. Practiceing the skills you're taught will strengthens your relationship quickly and build a good foundation for saftey. I tell clients to practice these skills a lot in the beginning and when things are going well. Build the new habits now. It's much harder to reach for a new skill when things are elevated in the relationship.

7. Marriage Therapy Isn’t About “Winning” Arguments

Many couples enter therapy hoping a therapist will validate their perspective. But the goal isn’t to “win”— it’s to understand each other better. Therapy helps couples break out of the blame cycle and find ways to reconnect rather than compete.

8. Your Therapist Can Hold Hope for Your Relationship When You Can’t

There will be days when your relationship feels too difficult to fix—where one or both of you may feel exhausted, hopeless, or unsure of the future. On those days, your therapist can hold hope for your relationship until you’re ready to believe in it again. Part of their role is to remind you of the progress you’ve made, help you see the possibility of healing, and guide you through the roughest moments.

9. Therapy Can Be Short-Term or Long-Term, Depending on Your Needs

Some couples see improvements in just a few sessions, while others benefit from ongoing therapy. The length of marriage counseling depends on your goals, the complexity of issues, and how much effort both partners put in. A therapist can help you decide what’s best for your relationship but a commitment to the work will bring results more quickly.

10. Choosing the Right Therapist Matters

Not all therapists specialize in relationship counseling. Finding a therapist with expertise in marriage therapy is key to getting the best results. You wouldn't go to a General Doctor for a heart problem and it's the same in the therapy world. Look for someone with the qualifications you need. In Orlando, working with a therapist who understands your specific challenges can make all the difference in your experience.

What to Know Before Marriage Therapy: Final Thoughts

Starting couples counseling is a brave step toward a healthier, stronger relationship. By understanding these little-known facts, you’ll feel more prepared and confident as you begin the process.

If you’re in Orlando, Florida and ready to improve your relationship, schedule your first appointment today with a licensed marriage therapist who specializes in affair recovery, communication skills, and helping couples rebuild trust. 📍 Serving Couples in Orlando and throughout the state of Florida.

Looking for relationship counseling in Orlando, Florida? I specialize in helping couples navigate challenges, improve communication, and rebuild trust. Schedule your first appointment today!

🔗 Book A Session Here.

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Not Feeling the Love? How to Navigate Valentine’s Day When It Feels Hard

Not feeling the love this Valentine’s Day? If you’re struggling with loss, loneliness, or relationship disappointment, you’re not alone. While the world celebrates romance, this holiday can bring up grief, frustration, and longing for many. Instead of dreading February 14th, discover self-care strategies to navigate the day with kindness, from avoiding social media comparison to treating yourself with compassion. Plus, explore meaningful ways to celebrate love—whether through self-appreciation, friendships, or acts of kindness. Read on for expert insights on how to make Valentine’s Day feel less painful and more empowering.

Valentine’s Day can be a tough one. While the world seems to be covered in roses and heart-shaped everything, you might be feeling something completely different—grief from a past loss, loneliness in the absence of a romantic relationship, or sadness over a love that didn’t last. If this holiday makes you want to crawl under a blanket until February 15th, you’re not alone. Instead of forcing yourself to “just get through it,” what if you approached Valentine’s Day in a way that actually nourishes you?

8 Self-Care Strategies for a Tough Valentine’s Day

If this holiday stirs up sadness, anger, frustration, or longing, here are a few ways to care for yourself:

  1. Give Yourself Permission to Feel

Ignoring your emotions only makes them louder. Instead, acknowledge what’s coming up for you. Maybe it’s grief, irritability, or disappointment. Maybe you’re getting a headache or feel anxious—whatever it is, it’s valid. Writing, talking with a trusted friend, or even journaling a letter (that you never send) can help process emotions instead of letting them fester.

  1. Plan a Feel-Good Escape

Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be about romance—it can be about whatever you need. Book a selfcare day. Schedule a foot massage, take a nature walk, or get lost in a new book. Plan ahead so the day feels intentional rather than something you’re trying to survive.

  1. Avoid the Social Media Trap

It’s easy to feel like everyone else has the perfect relationship when your feed is full of curated candlelit dinners and grand gestures. Remember, social media is a highlight reel, not real life. If scrolling leaves you feeling worse, take a break from it for the day.

  1. Shower Yourself with Kindness

Who says you can’t? If you’d buy a gift for a partner, why not do the same for yourself? Treat yourself to something small but meaningful—your favorite coffee or flowers, or a cozy new blanket or that golf club you’ve been eyeing. It’s a way of reinforcing that you are worthy of love, no matter your relationship status.

  1. Connect with People Who Get It

Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be spent alone if you’re open to it. Plan a friend’s night, attend an event, or even go to a yoga class. Anywhere that brings connection. Sometimes, shifting focus away from what we’re missing can create moments of unexpected joy. Opening Your Heart to a Different Kind of Celebration Even if Valentine’s Day isn’t your favorite, it doesn’t have to be a day of dread. Here are some alternative ways to celebrate love—without the pressure of romance:

  1. Make It About Self-Love

Reframe it as a day for self-appreciation. Write yourself a letter of appreciation, list things you’re proud of, or start a new self-care ritual that makes you feel good in your own skin.

  1. Celebrate Friendship & Connection

Love isn’t just romantic—it’s found in friendships, family, and community. Send a thoughtful message to a friend, grab dinner with someone who also dreads the holiday, or write a gratitude list of the people who have made a difference in your life.

  1. Give Love to Someone Who Needs It

One of the most powerful ways to shift our emotions is to give. Buy a coffee for the person behind you in the coffee line, send a kind note to someone going through a hard time, or make a small donation to a cause you care about. Anonymous love is expansive and opening your heart to others can make the day feel meaningful in a different way.

Final Thoughts:

You’re Not Alone in This If Valentine’s Day is hard for you, you don’t have to pretend otherwise. Whether you choose to care for yourself quietly or celebrate love in an unconventional way, know this: You are worthy of love, exactly as you are.

Remember, you're really not alone so let’s support each other. 💛

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Anxiety, Trauma, Therapy, Pandemic, Compassion, Mental Health Tessa Sigman, ESQ Anxiety, Trauma, Therapy, Pandemic, Compassion, Mental Health Tessa Sigman, ESQ

Mental Health: Post-Pandemic

As we embark on this post-pandemic journey, the messages that we have learned over the past months do not just vanish. The knowledge that the alarm is unnecessary is insufficient for our bodies to simply stop reacting.

Written by: Tessa Sigman, ESQ

The COVID-19 pandemic has negatively impacted mental health across the nation. As we acclimate to post-pandemic life, you may experience increased anxiety about reopening. And, as the U.S. vaccination rate rises, the question gripping the nation is “When will things go back to normal?” Although worry, fear, and stress are typical emotional responses to what the world is living through, the pandemic’s impact on mental health should not be ignored.

Our bodies are complex systems, which often run without our conscious guidance. A part of this system is our fight or flight response—the body’s built-in alarm to protect you from potential danger. Over the past year, we have significantly reduced the amount of time we spend out of the house, while training our body’s alarm system to be conscious of factors that we previously ignored. With home being the ultimate comfort zone, some have become extra worried about the danger that awaits outside.

As we embark on this post-pandemic journey, the messages that we have learned over the past months do not just vanish. The knowledge that the alarm is unnecessary is insufficient for our bodies to simply stop reacting. Fortunately, we can help our bodies learn that it no longer needs to be afraid in certain situations, and these tips for a gradual re-entry into a post-pandemic world can help ease your transition:

  1. Acknowledge Your Anxiety: The pandemic has taken everyone on an emotional roller coaster. It is okay to feel triggered about close human contact and things of this nature. If your brain presents you with a “what if” question, like “What if this isn’t safe?”, realize that it is okay to be uncertain about this. Allowing yourself to acknowledge how you are feeling can help you focus on overcoming anxiety and minimizing these symptoms.
  2. Start Slowly: Allow your body and mind time to adjust. While you may be tired of being at home, going full-speed ahead into things may increase your anxiety. If you are feeling overwhelmed, take smaller steps before working up to bigger events.
  3. Positive Thinking: Anxiety can often be related to intrusive or irrational thinking. Letting yourself dwell on these thoughts can magnify the negativity. Instead, focus on actively changing your perception to a more positive one. When negative thoughts enter your mind, taking a moment to alter your thinking can make a large difference in how you perceive the world and how you behave.
  4. Be Compassionate to Yourself: This process may be a bit of an emotional roller coaster. Excitement to reenter the world can co-exist with grief and fear. While these emotions may seem to be incongruent, it is normal and important to allow yourself to feel everything that you are experiencing. Be kind to yourself.
  5. Seek Support: You do not have to go through this alone. There is a strong chance that the people around you will be able to relate to, and validate, your feelings and experiences. Talking through fears with a support system can help to reduce associated anxieties. Support can come from friends, family, or a mental health professional.
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You are Resilient

You are resilient. You’ve been through tough times and gotten through them. There are 9 pillars of reliance and a proven practice for improving + growing + strengthening your resilience.

You+are+Resilient.jpg

Have you ever noticed that some people bounce back from tough times easier than others? Some people seem to "roll with it" + their attitudes are sprinkled with humor or a positive outlook. They can find their way thoughtfully through a problem. They appear to be flexible. You turn to them in tough times because they always leave you feeling optimistic + they can see the silver lining. 

This is resilience and we all have it. Some people feed it with fertilizer so it grows big and beautiful. Thoughtful that if they don't feed it, their resilience will wilt, they practice certain things every single day. You can practice these things too. 

There are 9 pillars of reliance and at least one proven practice for improving + growing + strengthening your resilience. 

Remembering who you are when you haven't seen yourself for awhile. 

Start by recalling how you got through a difficult time in the time past. What strategies did you use? What did you do to "come up for air"? What story did you tell yourself? This is resilience. Now water + fertilize that in the days + weeks to come. You're on the right track.  

 Quick Take-Aways

9 Pillars of Resilience

  • Optimism

  • Altruism

  • Moral Compass

  • Faith and Spirituality

  • Humor

  • Having a Role Model

  • Social Supports

  • Facing Fear

  • Meaning or Purpose in Life

A Proven practice for improving resilience

Change the narrative 

"When something bad happens, we often relive the event over and over in our heads, rehashing the pain. This process is called rumination; it’s like a cognitive spinning of the wheels, and it doesn’t move us forward toward healing and growth.  

The practice of Expressive Writing can move us forward by helping us gain new insights on the challenges in our lives. It involves free writing continuously for 20 minutes about an issue, exploring your deepest thoughts and feelings around it. The goal is to get something down on paper, not to create a memoir-like masterpiece."

For more information on changing the narrative: https://positivepsychology.com/3-resilience-scales/

For more information on the pillars: https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/five_science_backed_strategies_to_build_resilience

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Personal Growth, Creativity, Foundational Practices, Anxiety Jennifer Sigman, LMFT Personal Growth, Creativity, Foundational Practices, Anxiety Jennifer Sigman, LMFT

Journaling 101. How to Write that Crap Down.

Don’t have time to Journal? Read on. Journaling can be done in 3 minutes. It’s not meant to revisit as much as it’s meant to shift your mood + your energy. A few words can change your mindset or open space in your cluttered brain. The key is to do it daily.

If you’re interested in journaling but don't, but know where to start, you've come to the right place. There are different types of journaling + it’s something that I recommend you do every day or at least on a consistent basis. I found that there are three types of journaling. Data dump journaling, gratitude journaling, and connection journaling.

Data dump journaling is exactly what it sounds like. Dump that data! It's great for getting out those spinning thoughts. It’s not intended to re-read or revisit. It’s only intended to clear space for new information. No formality. You can do it with pen + paper, on your phone (Day One is a good Journaling App) or on your computer. Whatever you prefer. I often hear from clients that they get immediate relief from data dump journaling.

Gratitude journaling is the best! It refocuses your emotional compass towards holding positive energy for things that are really important in your life. The things you cherish. I found in my practice that when clients regularly practice gratitude journaling, they report their energy + outlook shifts in a positive way. They report that it impacts their relationships positively + their overall feeling of well-being improves. This type of journaling is as easy as writing down 3-5 things you have gratitude for, every day. It doesn’t matter if you do this in the evening, then it sets you up for an emotionally positive sleep. Or if you do this in the morning, then you set your compass in the right direction for an emotionally positive day. What matters is that you do it consistently. It also doesn’t matter if you repeat the same things again and again – although I would suggest that you look for different things on a daily basis. The big things you hold Gratitude for are always easy to identify. Look for the medium and small things. If you can put down a few reasons why they're important to you, that’s a bonus.

Connection journaling is a journaling meditation practice. It’s about connecting to positive energy, a higher vibration. As you journal, this often starts with a few benign sentences about the moment or the day or how you feel - you’ll start getting into "flow". Once you’re in flow, no judgment, just information coming out of you. You’ll connect to a higher version of yourself. Maybe your intuitive self. It allows for insights to flow + "Ah-Ha's" to come regularly.

For me, connection journaling has created the most profound shifts + greatest insights. It's been life and relationship changing.

Don’t think you have time for journaling? Recently I discovered the Five Minute Journal. It gives you five short prompts daily. It’s fast. I have clients that use it with their spouses and have purchased them for their teens. You can find the 5 Minute Journal at www.journalhabit.com. Look in the Shop.

Happy journaling.

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Couples, Affair, Marriage, Communication Jennifer Sigman, LMFT Couples, Affair, Marriage, Communication Jennifer Sigman, LMFT

5 Common Reasons Why Couples Go to Therapy: How an Expert Therapist Can Help

5 reasons why couples go to counseling. Couples enter counseling for various reasons but they all have one thing in common; pain. Once a couple has spoken to a therapist and they’ve scheduled an appointment, they breathe easier again. Now, someone else is in charge of fixing it.

Each couple that walks into a therapy office is different. Their stories of how they met and fell in love are captivating and warming. Couple's "engagement story" always makes them smile and when they talk about the details of their wedding day, the whole tempo of the room can shift to a happy, joyous rhythm. But, don't be fooled, by the time a couple makes their first call to a marriage counselor's office they are far from this rhythm and by the time they sit down on a therapist's couch, they ALL have one thing in common; pain.

Couples rarely seek counseling until they are in fear of permanently losing their primary love connection. They wake up one morning (usually it's the middle of the night) and they realize that if things don't change, they may lose the person they once loved so dearly. They feel they've tried everything, except... reach for expert help.

Once the phone call has been made to a marriage therapist and an appointment is on their calendar, couples often breathe easier. For the moment, the pressure is off. Someone else is now in charge of "fixing it."

If this sounds like you, but you're not sure if this is the right avenue for your marriage, read on. You deserve to breathe easier too.

Here are 5 common reasons that couples seek expert counseling:

1. Difference of Values

Individual values can change throughout a lifetime and couples may not always start like-minded. Early in a relationship, couples often look past their differences. But, as time moves on, what was once a tolerable difference can now become a rub.

For example, you may value alone time while your spouse values and draws energy from time with friends; you may have spiritual differences that have become more expansive now that you have a baby or you may have changed your position on a core value that as a couple you shared, leading to turbulence in your relationship. Therapy can help you understand and respect each other on a deeper level, making living with the difference acceptable (instead of merely trying to change each other’s view.)

2. Communication

Couples can experience feelings of isolation and alienation due to a lack of connected communication. It's awful to feel alone while you're sitting next to the person you married.

In a new relationship, texting is flirty and fun. But, as time passes, you need to develop ways to effectively communicate from beyond a screen. Couples who experience communication difficulties have a tendency to dodge hard topics and minimize each other’s feelings, which can deteriorate a relationship. With the help of an expert therapist, couples who struggle with safe, connected communication can learn how to navigate conversations without hurting each other’s feelings (while gaining deeper insight into your lover's needs.) Yay! That's what we all want.

3. Money

Spending habits are a deeply held personal value, often tied to core emotional and psychological needs. We're often not aware of how we truly feel about money until we're in a relationship, and now we're dividing dinner bills and travel expenses (and mortgage down payments and Peleton memberships).

Couples can have differences when it comes to their money values based on how they were raised, how money was spoken about in their family of origin, their earning potential or past money traumas. Even if a couple's in basic agreement about their financial values, they can still have differences in opinion; like what to spend and what to save. Financial disagreements can cause tension and stress in a relationship. An expert therapist can help a couple safely unpack their money differences and then, reconnect with a higher level of understanding and empathy. They can also teach the couple how to spot money triggers and stay calm and connected while discussing how money can make them feel safe or unsafe.

4. Jealousy

Jealous feelings are often directly attached to relational wounds, both rational and irrational. Jealous behavior can come from a place of suspicion and insecurity. The behavior itself can often threaten to destroy a relationship.

Jealously is often comingled with feelings of inadequacy or inferiority—a byproduct of fear or triggered by old or recent traumas. Whether a partner obsessively checks the other’s computer and phone records, or they fear that a business trip is really a cover to continue an affair, jealousy can quickly dismantle a relationship by making well-meaning people act in ways that they never imagined. Working with an expert therapist can help couples understand why jealousy is driving unhealthy actions. It can help the couple decrease the chance of escalation (and disconnection which leads to more jealousy), help the couple to understand and put in place safe boundaries around their relationship and enable the couple to rebuild a solid foundation of trust.

5. Infidelity

Once infidelity is discovered or revealed, intense pain and a roller coaster of exaggerated emotions are the norms. Trust gets shattered and love goes into hiding.

Infidelity causes major trauma in a love relationship. Obsessiveness, depression, anxiety, and a profound sense of loss often follow. Heightened emotions can cause more damage to an already wounded love. Despite the powerful emotions after the disclosure or discovery of infidelity, marriage therapy with an expert marriage therapist can help couples understand and manage these feelings quickly and also learn what to expect in the hours, days and weeks to come. It's tough territory to navigate alone, for a love relationship. An expert marriage counselor will also provide tools for you to reestablish safety in your marriage, spot emotional triggers, communicate in a safe way and eventually reestablish the foundation of trust and respect needed to move forward in the marriage. When both partners commit to healing the relationship, statistics show that through expert counseling the vast majority of relationships can successfully move forward.

Jennifer Sigman, MS, LMFT is an expert in marriage and relationship counseling. Throughout her 29 years as a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, she has successfully guided countless couples through challenging times in their relationship. Jennifer also has expertise in the area of trauma and trauma recovery.

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